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12 Simple Steps To Overcoming Shyness With The Opposite Sex

Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then, you can definitely overcome shyness.
Views: 24.622 Created 12/05/2006

Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then, you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you are typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.

Below, I've listed 12 simple steps to overcoming your shyness. These aren't magic solutions, but practice these steps and over time, your shyness will fade away and you will be left wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.

Step 1. Fake it until you make it!

This is an infamous saying in the sales world. In other words; mimic or act like someone whom you admire and has all the personality traits you wish to have. This is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits. Put yourself in their shoes and play out real life situations as though you were them. This may sound crazy, but it does work!

Step 2. Ask yourself why you are shy.

Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help guide you into separating reality with what you are mistakenly perceiving it to be.

Step 3. Work on building your self confidence.

Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!

Step 4. Learn how to use daily affirmations.

Daily affirmations and positive mind influence can be very powerful tools to improve yourself. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like "I like myself!" or "I am a winner!"

Step 5. Role play situations that make you anxious.

This may sound silly but take time out alone to Play-act situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This play-acting will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.

Step 6. Dress to impress.

Dress to impress, even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.

Step 7. Positive goals.

Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple - by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.

Step 8. Reprogram your mental definition of shyness.

This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.

Step 9. Learn to take risks.

How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how they impressed you with their clothes. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!

Step 10. Face your fears!

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.

Step 11. Get those dates.

A rather direct tactic, you can learn to overcome shyness by dating frequently. Practicing dating is the most successful way to rid your shyness but this takes a lot of nerve so date 'at your own risk'.

Step 12. Last but not least, be honest!

Tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well. By just telling them you feel the same will help to put them at ease too. With both of you more relaxed, the date is sure to go much better.


Short note about the author

Roger Mayne is author of 100 First Date Ideas. Impress your date by being different to all the others. Take her somewhere she's not been before. 100 First Dates reveals great ideas that will sweep her off her feet, and have you looking like a complete hero. firstdateidea.com

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