When I was 16 years old, I was in deep like with a guy I was dating. He was purely the anti-boyfriend of my parents' choosing. He drove a black car with a souped up engine. He smoked cigarettes. He had horrible manners. He would beep the horn for me when he came to pick me up. It drove my mother crazy. I mean really looking back - he had no respect.
But that's not why I'll remember him. What I'll remember is that I went to an amusement park one weekend and bought a keychain that had both our names with a heart in between them. I thought it was cute and I thought he'd get a little chuckle out of it. Uh - not! He read me the riot act about how I pressure guys (how he heard about me) and that I was simply too pushy and that he didn't think this whole thing was going to work out. All this on my front doorstep.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I hadn't known this about myself whether it was his truth or the truth. I carried it with me up until the point I realized that I was in a fully reciprocal relationship (my wedding day!).
What's the moral of this story? Well, it was kind of pushy for me to buy a keychain with our names when he wasn't my boyfriend and he didn't buy it with me or for me. I was forcing the issue. So take this teenage lesson and apply it to your lives now - never force the issue. It only makes you look desperate or clueless.
Tips That You're Moving Too Fast
1. You call him before you give him a chance to return the FIRST call
2. You are thinking about what your children will look like
3. You are leaving things in his house "by accident" like a toothbrush, underwear, etc.
4. You quiz him about his incoming calls--everyday!
5. You WANT to quiz him about his incoming phone calls
6. You want to meet his mother and ask her stuff about his childhood
7. You aren't interested in meeting anyone else and have been dating for a month
Short note about the author
Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and online advice authority. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, take a free Depression Screening, or learn about her new Relationship 911! program today at: http://www.girlshrink.com. You can also subscribe to the popular relationship ezine "Better Choices" at: http://www.girlshrink.com/better choices.html
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