If there is one question for which every woman wants an answer is what men want. This question crops up in the mind of every woman be it be a teenager going on her first date; a newly wedded wife getting ready for her husband to return from work; a single woman waiting to find the right man; a divorcee trying to rebuild her life.
This question has been asked by women in the past, and will be asked by women in the future too. It is a question that has no easy answers; with each relationship being completely different from another. The best one can do is to explore seven subjects that form the cornerstone of any relationship between men and women. These subjects hold the key for any woman to understand what men want.
1. Sex What do men want in sex?
How frequent should be lovemaking?
Should it be passionate?
Should women have sex before marriage?
There is little doubt that most men are obsessed with sex. It is a biological need, and men should not be blamed for wanting sex. However, sex alone cannot build a long lasting relationship. It can bring a couple together but it cannot hold them together beyond a certain point.
What a woman must understand is that a man finds happiness and fulfillment in sex. A woman who is willing to reach out and unite in the act of lovemaking is most likely to win a man than a woman who uses sex as a manipulative tool.
Also, men are not ogres. They don't go to women looking for sex alone. Most of them don't want their partners to degrade themselves when making love to them. They would rather like all acts of lovemaking
to be complete and fulfilling to both.
Men, in fact, agonize more than women if they are unable to excite their partners. This is because men can be easily aroused whereas it takes longer, and more foreplay in the case of women to get aroused.
There is little doubt that a man would like to take a woman to bed as quickly as possible. But few men want to make love if they find their partners are unwilling. Most of them don't want to hurt or injure the feelings of a woman with whom they have developed a bonding or are in the process of doing so. Also, no man would insist on sex as a prerequisite to marriage.
Yes, every man has his fantasies about sex, and would like frequent and passionate sex with the woman he loves. One-night stands, as the name suggests, are only flings, not relationships.
2. Companionship What kind of a companion does a man want?
How should women meet those needs?
Men want women with whom they can share their likes and dislikes, their fears and triumphs, their weaknesses and strengths? They want women who can empathize with their failures and revel in their triumphs.
Women who constantly find faults with their men are unlikely to win their love and respect. Every woman must remember that men are vain by nature. They need pampering, and even mothering. At the same time they need emotional fulfillment.
This does not mean that women have to become sports enthusiasts or political analysts to please their men. They only need to provide space to their men to follow their passions.
3. Homemakers Should women be great cooks to win acceptance?
Should women alone be expected to keep house?
Is it a woman?s job to rear kids?
Today's men respect the ambitions of women. They don't want to relegate their wives to the role of a domestic help. They would like their women to do well in life. However, they would not like this to happen at the cost of their own careers.
Most women must realize that every man wants to be the main breadwinner. His male ego gets hurt if he has to depend on his wife to run the home. He would certainly expect his wife to cook for him on at least three to four days a week. He would also expect women to keep the home clean and well kept. The best that a man is willing to do is to extend a helping hand. But the woman has to be the main homemaker.
4. Emotional support Should women give advice?
Are men open to points of view given by women?
Once again the male ego is too vain. It is not willing to listen easily to the advice given by better halves. Almost every man goes on the defensive when the woman he loves wants to correct him. He may accept the same advice from another male; but would be very reluctant to do so from a woman.
Women should therefore be careful. They should make men feel they can climb Mount Everest, if need be. They must encourage them by constantly telling them how much confidence they have in them. This will bring the best out of every man.
5. Looks matter Should women doll up for men?
Is a woman's figure important?
How important is it to dress up especially for men?
Men love beautiful women. They don't want their woman to look dowdy. This is not only true at the time of dating but even after marriage. Women who allow their figures to slip are likely to loose the interest of their men. This may sound sexist but this is how life is. An attractive woman, who knows how to carry herself, will always turn male heads.
6. Private space Why do men need time for themselves?
Are they hiding something?
Shouldn?t they share all their thoughts with me?
The best relationships
are those where women are willing to wait; where they give time to their men to unwind themselves. They should not rush into their arms the moment they come home, and expect them to unburden themselves. Instead, they should wait for the right time when the man is more ready to share his inner thoughts. Even here, it is important to be patient, and encouraging. Don't find faults with your man's thinking; the chances are that he may shut himself off. Each man needs space to sort his thoughts. A woman can help him by being encouraging and understanding.
7. Respect Do men need more respect than women?
How should a woman behave?
Finally, both men
and women need respect if the relationship is to survive. This can only happen if a woman is willing to listen to her man. Also, a woman should respect a man's interests even though they may be widely different from her. She should allow him necessary space to follow his interests which may be sports, politics or cards. Women
should learn to read between the lines if they want to earn the respect of their men.
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