Oh the difference a finger can make. Be it at the start of a relationship or when you don't have the time or ability to do something else, you will often find yourself in a position where you will need to finger your lady. This can be both fun and arousing if done right. It can also be exhausting and frustrating if done wrong. Nothing is worse than looking at your woman, expecting to see looks of ecstasy and pleasure and instead seeing one of boredom. So, crack your knuckles, loosen your fingers, trim your nails and get ready, because we're about to dive right in!
Road Map to Your Girl
So you finally got your first girlfriend's pants off and what do you know, things are a little different in person than they are in porn. What you used to just look at and think about while watching your computer screen is now right in front of you and you have no idea what to do with it. Well, have no fear, it is not nearly as complicated as it looks.
Men of the Bush
A well maintained bush is a happy bush
The first thing that you may or may not notice, depending on whether your lady of choice shaves or not, is her pubic hair. This is also known as her bush, her muff, etc. Some girls trim it, some girls shave it and some girls do nothing at all. If you really don't know what you're doing then this is the first thing you're going to want to look for, it will give you the general target zone. There is not much that you can do with her bush besides tease her for not shaving it yet.
If you have some native american blood running through your veins and insist on using every part of the animal, try rubbing her bush a little. Pet it like it was a dog, using light pressure. This is a good time to compliment her vagina and make her feel comfortable about the whole thing. If she is an old pro then this step is probably not necessary. But if she is inexperienced, young, insecure, etc, then this will help ease whatever anxiety she has before you get to work. This is a small step but one that is fairly important because a nervous girl is one that will take longer to orgasm and that translates into a cramped hand.
Give me a Big ol' Wet one on the Lips
Below the pubic hair, although it may also have pubic hair on it, you'll discover the vaginal lips. Depending on how turned on she is the lips may be swollen. These are the lips that contain the inner treasure which you seek. Don't ignore the vaginal lips, they can have different degrees of sensitivity, depending on a number of things. If you are just starting to fool around, the lips will probably not be all that sensitive. If however you are finishing your girl after a good old round of sex then the lips will probably be very sensitive (depending how big you are). Be careful because after you have been getting it on for awhile the lips can be chaffed and touching them could cause her a lot of pain.
It's in the hole!
The best kind of hole in one!
Inside the vaginal lips you will find the pirate's booty, the vaginal canal. This is where you came from originally and is the place you will spend the rest our your life questing to return. Believe it or not, the walls of the vaginal canal are not incredibly sensitive. Don't get me wrong, if you stick a finger inside and play around, she'll definitely feel it, however there are far more sensitive parts of the vagina. If this is your first time inspecting a vagina, then don't be turned off if you see a lot of fluid, mucus, etc. It may not sound the most attractive, however, trust me this is a good sign.
If your girl is a virgin, this is where you will be able to discover that. When you pull back the vaginal lips (and for god's sake, be gentle when you do this) you will see what is known as the hymen. This will look like a smaller hole on the inside, which is created by a thin, pink membrane. When a girl has sex for the first time, any guy who doesn't have an abnormally small penis will be unable to go through that hole, which will cause it to burst. Having a broken hymen does not indicate however that she is not a virgin. Plenty of girls break them with tampons, horse back riding or trying to shove a cucumber up there ("I just wanted to see if it would fit"). So keep that in mind before you go calling that girl you thought was a virgin a slut because she doesn't have one.
"Dr. Clitoris I presume"
I saved the most important part of the vagina for last. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the vaginal region and it is also the hardest to find. The sensitive nature of it can be both a good and a bad thing. It's a good thing because when you make your old lady orgasm, one way or another it likely has something to do with the clit.
As I said, this can be a bad thing as well. Because the clitoris is so sensitive it can be over stimulated very easily, which can cause a lot of pain. This can be more easily understood if you consider that in development of a fetus, the same cells that become the penis in males become the clitoris in females. Imagine all the sensitivity of your penis crammed into an object roughly the size of a pencil eraser. Many girls don't like having their clits touched directly at all because of this. We'll go over later in the article on how to stimulate it without direct contact, just remember to tread gently here. Imagine the woman's vagina being like your testicles. Rubbing them feels good, but anything too rough and they start to hurt. It is hard for most men to conceive of exactly how sensitive parts of the vagina are because there is nothing on a man that is nearly as susceptible to pain.
Turn her on like a television
Alright, so now you know all about a woman's vagina. You know where her clit is, you know to trim the bush and you have a pretty good idea which set of lips I am talking about when I make jokes about them. Good! While this knowledge is very important to have, it is in no way all you need to know. Now it's time to learn what to do with all that fun hardware.
There is nothing better than when you pull down a girl's pants and panties and discover that she is soaking wet. This isn't just good for your ego, but it is also important from a comfort standpoint. If she is drier than a sack of sand it is going to hurt a lot when you try and slide your finger in there. While some girls like pain when they are fooling around, none like this kind of pain. It will turn her off, make the situation awakward and be unpleasant all together.
Remember: Wet like the everglades, not dry like the desert.
So, before you slide your hand towards her love hole, play around a little bit. This will usually begin with a decent make out session. Start by kissing her on the lips. If you don't know how to do this yet or think you have some room for improvement, trying checking out our article on the best way to kiss. Move from her lips, down to her neck, alternating between a straight kiss and a suck. Don't suck her neck too hard unless you are trying to leave a mark, something she probably won't appreciate. Place your hand on one of her breasts gently. Don't grip it like you're trying to shake someone's hand, but rather apply a light pressure with your hand as you softly squeeze her breast. Listen to her, listen to the noises she is making. Locate her nipple through her shirt and rub it lightly with your thumb.
If you are in a location where you can take her shirt off then do so. Don't spend too much time getting her bra off either, there is no point in just taking off the shirt and leaving the bra. If you can't expose her breast in any way then just continue for another minute or two with the groping and kissing.
If you can expose her breast, be it by removing her shirt or by just pulling her shirt up high enough, rub her bare breast for another minute. If she is moaning sufficiently, start sucking on one of her nipples for a minute or two. By this point she should be fairly turned on. Just to be safe (and because it's part of the natural progression of your hand) place your hand between her legs and softly rub against where her vagina would be. You will feel the pelvic bone which is what you should push against. Rub your hand up and down (with respect to her body, i.e. rub towards her belly button), don't apply too much pressure, but apply more than you normally would to make sure that she feels it.
Continue doing this for another minute or two, regardless of how loud she is moaning. When you feel confident that she is good and turned on, go ahead and take her pants and panties off (or slip your hand down her pants or up her skirt, all depending on what your situation is). Hopefully you'll be greeted by wetlands which make the everglades look like the mojave desert.
Time to play
You've put in the work, you've got her turned on. She is begging to be touched and you're happy to oblige. The first thing you have to decide is whether you want to go on the inside or the outside. We'll cover both of these methods as well as introduce you to a not-so-well-known spot on the map, the G-Spot.
It's Nice Outside
If your first instinct once you've got your woman turned on is to shove your finger inside of her then you need to go and read the anatomy section of this article again. While it may be the most enjoyable technique for you, it may not be for her. If you remember what we said a few paragraphs ago, your mind will recall that the most sensitive part of a girl's body is her clitoris. Stimulation of this is what causes her to orgasm. When you have sex with her it is the fluctuation of her lips, her body's vibrations and a number of other things which affect the clitoris and other regions of her body which cause her to orgasm. Because of all this, it should make sense when I tell you that the easiest, and often times most effective, way to get your lady off doesn't even require you to get your finger dirty. By simply rubbing the clitoris you might be able to send her to the depths of orgasm and leave her panting for air. If you don't, believe me on this ask any girl how she masturbastes. The majority of women masturbate by touching themselves on the outside. However, you should still listen to any noises she makes, or even try talking to her, because some women prefer internal stimulation.
Start by locating your partner's clitoris. Consult the picture and description above for the exact location of the clit. Most girls have what looks like a hood at the top of their vagina. This is where the outer vaginal lips come together and the clit can often be found hiding under there. This hood provides the perfect barrier between the clit itself and your abrasive finger. Because the hood has the natural lubricants from the vagina itself, it slides over the region nicely which causes plenty of stimulation, without causing pain.
Don't be in a rush
After you have found the clitoris, begin gently rubbing on it in an up and down motion with respect to her belly button (rub towards and away from her belly button). Do this relatively fast, not incredibly fast to begin with, but at least 10 - 15 times every 10 seconds. You should hear her start to react at this. If she doesn't you are either doing something wrong or you just have a very quiet companion. If you can't tell by her moans if you are in the right place, just ask her. Say "does this feel good?" and odds are she'll be honest and either say "yes" or she'll say something to the effect of "over a little" or "faster/slower", etc. The key here is that every woman is different, so what works on one may not work as well on another. It may be useful to ask her to show you.
If you are not in a rush to finish, then take your time and let her enjoy it. Experiment while you are down there. As long as you are not too rough the odds are you won't hurt her. The worst thing you'll do is do an action which provides less stimulation than the standard moves. Listen to her moans and use them as your guide. If you start to do something and she suddenly gets very quiet, switch it back to what you were doing. If the moans get louder, then you have obviously stumbled onto something. Try going in circular motion, try just causing your hand to vibrate, try going side to side. All of these things should feel good, it's just a matter of how good they feel.
Settle down and be consistent
It is a fairly general rule that the closer she gets to orgasm, the more she is going to want you to settle into one specific motion and increase the pace. Once you have heard her come a few times, you'll get to know what it sounds like as she approaches. When someone is on the verge of orgasms they like the pace to increase greatly and they also want a motion which they can predict and count on in their mind. The mind wants to focus on how it feels and not have to worry about what new action you are trying now. The best orgasm and pre-orgasm motion is the up and down that I described above. The whole point of fingering someone on the outside or the inside is to simulate sex. During standard missionary position the clit is stimulated by the male rubbing against her. By working in this motion the feeling is best simulated.
You should increase your tempo with the increase in her breathing and moaning. Try to not push down too hard on her clit, although it is natural to do so when she begins to cum because your heart beat and level of excitement is likely to increase as well. Keep going until she pulls your hand off or gives you some indication that she has finished. Nothing is worse then when you start to come and the person stops what they are doing. At the same time though, be careful, because after orgasm a woman's vagina, and especially clitoris, become extremely sensitive, to the point that any contact at all can be very painful. Don't ruin a good thing by overstaying your welcome.
Did someone order seconds?
A second course of orgasm perhaps?
After a guy orgasms, he becomes flaccid and unusable for a little while afterwards. This is not the case with some women. A lot of women, if done properly, are able to have multiple orgasms. The key to doing this is to be gentle and being able to read her reactions. This is something you'll want to talk to her about before she orgasms so that she knows to expect you to keep going afterwards and can work on getting herself back into the right place mentally to orgasm again right away.
As soon as she comes you will want to let up on any pressure that you had been applying and go back to rubbing her in the up and down motion. However, you will need to do it extremely fast and very very gently. The trick here is that her clit is very sensitive, so any real contact at all will cause her pain. By being very fast and very gentle you will help keep her turned on slightly while her clit resets and gets ready to be rubbed again. Depending on the girl, this could take a minute or two or a little longer than that. Eventually she will get very turned on again and you will be able to resume your regular routine.
The only thing to remember when doing it this way is that having a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc, orgasm will take considerably more work then the previous one. The bright side is that most of the time your perseverance pays off since subsequent orgasms are often far better then the first one was.
Journey into the Cave of Wonders
There is something to be said for the mental aspect of foreplay as well as a magical little spot known as the G-Spot. Fingering a girl on the inside provides a great deal more intimacy between you and her which can offset whatever physical advantages touching her on the outside have. Also if you know how to find the G-Spot this can give her a completely different type of orgasm, the likes of which you have probably never seen before.
Regardless of whether you are going to make an assault on the G-Spot or whether you are just planning on getting down to some good old fingering action, you want to begin your activities slowly. Take your finger and slowly part her outer lips, allowing you to get into the soft, moist interior that they hold. You are not, however, inside of her vagina yet. You will need to find the vaginal canal, her hole, in order for you to actually begin fingering her. It will be lower than you think it is and it will angle in a different way than you would expect. The vaginal canal has a fairly sharp angle and trying to go in straight will give you difficulties getting in there.
Once you manage to slide your finger in, slide it in as far as it will go. She should be making at least soft little moans at this point. If she isn't then she is either just quiet or well, there isn't really anything you can screw up right now. If she's not making any moans then she is just quiet, so file that away in the back of your mind. That way you can make yourself feel better when she doesn't make any noise later while you two are having sex. Slide in and out of her slowly for the next minute or so. Because this is such an intimate activity you might want to use this time while you're still moving slowly and she's still adjusting to kiss her on the neck, cheek, breast, lips, wherever you want to in order to increase the overall intimacy of what you are doing.
Slowly increase your pace. Pay attention to your partner and listen for any changes in her breathing or her moaning. Also keep an eye on her face. For some girls the increased tempo can cause pain, especially if they aren't wet enough yet. Once you get up to full speed you may feel like your arm is a giant piston just drilling your girl, in and out. You may also feel like there is nothing you can do on a creative level here because it is just a matter of going in and out of her. This is not altogether true.
One thing you can do depending on the agility and size of your fingers is to hit her clit while you are fingering her. This would be be acheived by setting up your thumb so that every time you slide in all the way it rubs up againt her clit. Be careful not to be too rough or this will just end up being distracting and painful. If done right however this can be quite a stimulating and orgasm-inducing move.
Another motion you can do, depending on how she feels about anal stimulation, is slide your pinky up her asshole. That way while you are sliding into her with your index or middle finger, your pinky is getting her in the ass. This will likely be met with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Some girls will really like it and find it to be a really amazing trick. Others will find it to feel really weird, annoying or even painful. As always, listen to your partner, go off the verbal and non-verbal clues that they give you to determine if what you are doing is working.
Finishing occurs on the inside much in the same way it does on the outside. The trick is to be consistent and keep a good tempo. Don't slow down, don't try new things as she's coming, just keep it something she can count on and predict in her mind so that all her mental processes can be focused on achieving a toe curling orgasm.
Achieving multiple orgasms on the inside is a lot harder than it is on the outside because she will likely dry up after orgasm which could cause pain if you start to put a lot of friction in there. If you are going to go after multiple orgams, the best way would be to hop back out onto the outside and go about the process described above.
It's All About the G
The elusive G-Spot is not nearly as difficult to find as most people make it out to be. The G-spot is located about three inches deep into the vaginal canal, and is about the size of a small walnut. Stimulation of it produces a very weird feeling for most girls, one that often makes them feel as if they need to go to the bathroom. Some girls like having the guy hit their G-spot, others don't. If she doesn't like having her G-spot hit that's fine, it means less work for you. If she does and you can do it well, then you have just made a friend for life.
There are two major ways to hit the G-Spot. To hit it the first way you need to make your finger straight and stiff as a board and then begin pushing upwards in her vaginal canal. You follow the regular fingering motions, except you rotate them up about 45 degrees. You want to aim for her belly button with your finger. If you are doing it right, you should know instantly. Even the quietest of girls gets loud when you start hitting her G-Spot. Once you have mastered hitting her G-Button in this fashion, try doing it with her laying on her stomach. In this position you have a lot more room to angle yourself and it is a less awkward angle to attack from. The only drawback to doing it while she is on her stomach, is that it'll be harder to find. This is why you should wait and try it once you know exactly where you are poking.
The second major way to go after the G-Spot is really easy. Stick your finger inside of her like you were fingering her normally. Then curl up your finger, pushing on the top of the canal with your finger while you are doing this. The motion is the same one that you would make if you were trying to call someone from across the room. It is the "come here" motion. When you are doing this you may have to be less than gentle. That doesn't mean be rough, but you might have to exert more force than you would otherwise have to. As long as you don't see any signs that it is causing pain or detracting from her enjoyment of the activity, do what you will.
How many fingers you use on her depends on a number of things. First and above all the most important. How wet is she? If you are dealing with a girl who is not Asian Monsoon wet yet, don't stick any more than one finger into her. You will likely have difficulty getting it all the way in and you could make things painful and thus awkward. The next thing to watch for when considering how many fingers is how big is she and how big are your fingers? If she is a small girl and you have big sausage fingers, don't try to stick more than one in. You don't want to tear anything on the poor girl, do you?
Finally, if she is a virgin. More accurately, the question is whether or not she still has her hymen intact. If she does then you could easily bust this by trying to use two fingers. This will be painful and bloody and not something that she would appreciate. Save the honor of busting her hymen for your penis.
This guide is meant merely as a primer. Some girls like some things more than others and they are all different. The bag of tricks that got your last girl screaming your name at night will likely have to be revised and updated for your next one. The general principles will always help, but if you really want to know how to please your woman, ask her. If you are reading this just so you will be generally prepared to deal with the next lucky lady who desides to drop her pants for you, then you should be all set.
If however you are reading this so you can do better for a specific girl, say your girlfriend, then there are other things you can likely do which will please her more in the long run than anything you learned in here. No one can get your girlfriend off better then your girlfriend herself. This is provided of course that she masturbates and that she does so on a semi-regular basis. Ask her to do it for you while you watch. Observe how she moves, what kind of motions she does, how fast or slow she does it, etc. This is what you are going to want to try to emulate. If she doesn't masturbate, tell her to talk to you the next time you finger her. To tell you how you can do her better so that she cums harder.
Communication is the key to any relationship and there is no exception to this made for what goes on in the bedroom.
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