Children are the most precious gifts bestowed upon all parents. Whether you have just given birth to a new born baby or have recently watched your youngest child blissfully exchanging her wedding vows, there still lies in you desires to continue loving and caring for your children despite how “mature” they will grow to be over the years.
Through the passage of time, much research and development have taken place in the area of parenting and motherhood. We can readily observe that the way which our parents loved us as compared to the love shown by couples whom have just embraced their new born in this new millennium does vary to some extent.
In recent years, many publications of parenting and motherhood
have greatly encouraged the speaking of positive words to our children. Positive words such as “You are such a good girl”, “Thank you for helping mommy”, “It’s okay boy, you will get it right the next time”, “Daddy and mommy love you very much”, and so on. For some of us, these words were rarely spoken to us in the past by our parents.
In the older days, there were not much parenting
resources where our parents could learn from. Needless to say, not much was being talked about on the positive way of communicating to a child. Since most of us have grown up in such environment, many parents today find it hard to adopt a better and more positive communication method.
The good news is that it is never too late to begin nurturing your child’s mental and emotional aspects through positive and encouraging words. Much psychological research have shown that children who grew up listening to parents’ praises, compliments, and positive words tend to learn faster and develop better self esteem, an essential factor that gives your child the capability to achieve his or her fullest potentials in later years. A good step to begin with is to start praising your children when praises are due to them.
Whenever your children obey instructions or simply lend their helping hands, a timely praise will encourage them to repeat the pleasing behaviors. However, do not overly praise your children as pride will set in soon after. So, when do we draw the line between timely praises and praises that are exaggerated? Well, just ensure that you praise your child on a behavior or action that makes you proud. Do not give praises on every single behavior which you approve of. Praising is undoubtedly one of the most powerful love languages for your children. Each child wants to know that he or she is unique and special to their parents.
This message is best communicated by telling your children their unique talents and abilities. Assuring statements such as “You play the piano really well”, “You are such a great artist”, “I love to watch you dance, and you dance really well”, “Congratulations, you did well for your mathematics exams again”, and so forth. Such statements not only affirm your children but also boost their self-esteem substantially. This indeed is another powerful love language for your children. How about speaking something positive to your children when they make you upset?
It’s never easy especially when the undesirable behavior is repeated overtime; all you want is an immediate “time out”. Being parents as we all know, demand much of patience to be slow to anger. The next time you are tempted to yell and scold your children, try speaking something positive first before teaching them. Statements like “You are a good girl, but when you beat your little brother, it upsets mommy, it hurts him and that is not right”, “Dad and mom loves you very much, but when you choose not to do your school work, we get upset and you must learn to be responsible”, “Danny is a good boy, but when you throw your food everywhere, mom will have to clear the mess, mom is very unhappy about it”, and so on. You will be surprised how quickly your children learn the right behavior when you reprimand them by speaking positive words
prior to pinpointing the wrong behavior. This is yet another powerful love language
for your children.
Like adults, every child wants to live in a home where love, warmth and affection abound. Take some time to adjust your communication
style with your children. The more you communicate positive love languages to your children, the happier and healthier your children will grow to be. Isn’t this what every parent want for their children? Ultimately, nothing satisfy you more than an enjoyable journey with your children knowing that they too will pass on the love
languages to their future heritage; your grand children