I am a 32 year old women that has been married for 13 years and started the Lifestyle about 2 years ago.
My husband and I had a wonderful marriage. About 2 years ago we were goofing off on the interenet and came accross a swinger site and figured we would check it out and see what all the talk was about. We met a couple on the site and planned on going to club where we would meet them. We talked it over and decided that nothing has to happen we were just going to meet them and see what it was like. Well we met them and they turned out to be very nice people who we got along with very well. We ended up going back to their room with them with the intentions of things happening ( we both agreed to this) one thing led to another and my husband stopped and walked out. I followed him and asked if he was ok and he didn't want me to touch him. He said I cheated on him and I was wrong for going along with everything. We finally worked everything out and decided to keep playing because of the excitiment. I told him that if this was going to cause problems with us it wasn't worth it to me, I was completey happy with our life just me and him.
Later down the road we met a single guy and had a 3some. It was great, he introduced us to a single female and all hell broke lose then. I found out that my husband was going behind my back with her. We seperated for 6 months while he was undecided of what he wanted. Most of the time he was with her then I would get a phone call that he wanted me and of course me being me I did it. I finally had no choice but to threaten him with moving me and the kids out of state ( I was praying he would come with me). He did decide to come with me. My problem is because of what happened and all the things that were said it breaks my heart everyday that I look at him. I have told him once before that I wanted a seperation to see if I could work things out for myself but within a week I was calling him back. Just recently I mentioned it again. I know in my heart that I would be better off without him because of the things that happened. I can't seem to let go of that. He is going back to the state where this all happened because his brother is there and has a good job offer. He keeps saying everything will be fine and I will see that I want him back. I don't have the heart to tell him that I probably wont.