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Psychology of men

You really want to dig deep into a man's mind, well here it is...
Views: 91.258 Created 11/24/2008

No relationship is perfect, and many arguments happen with a lack of understanding of what a man is really trying to tell us. This could save your relationship! This article really digs into a man’s path of thinking...  Here are a few tips on what he could really be saying to you.

He says: ‘’I don’t love you, but I like you’’

What he really is saying: ‘’I’m not really ready to fall in love right now, but I am still willing to give this relationship a chance to see where it leads us. I am scared to fall in love quickly for fear of getting hurt again, and I don’t want to give you false hopes, if I’m not feeling it.

He says: ‘’Nothing has changed’’.

What he’s really saying : ‘’I wish you’d stop being insecure, it really is pushing me away from you. I may not show my emotions, but it does not mean that I am not willing to still be with you.

He says : ‘’That’s a stupid thing to say’’

What he’s really stating: ‘’I didn’t like how that came out, but if you said it in a different way, I may have responded with a better note.

He says: ‘’I’m really upset right now, one guy quit on me from work, and I had to do his job’’.

What he’s really stipulating: ‘’I need alone time right now. I don’t want to take out on you, because things could get ugly. Please leave me alone, I will come around when I am feeling up for a chat’’

He says: ‘’ I will be late picking you up, I have a few things I need to accomplish before meeting up with you’’.

What he’s really saying : ‘’ I need some alone time to think, and I don’t want to be distracted by you while I am on a mission. So I really need to get things done before we can spend some quality time together, and later on my mind won’t be so distracted.

He says: ‘’ I want to quit smoking’’.

What he’s really saying: ‘’I need your support on this, because I cannot do this alone. I need you to help me the best you can.

He says: ‘’ I’m so tired, and really sore’’.

What he’s really saying: ‘’It would be nice to have a long back rub. Can you do that for me? I know this will make me feel better, and it will give me energy to give you quality loving later on’’.

He says: ‘’ It’s not you, it’s me’’

What he’s really saying: ‘’ I need to think things through, I am not ready to be in a relationship right now. So this is not going to work out between you and I’’.

He says: ‘’I will call you’’

What he really means: ‘’I am testing you, to see how independent you are, I don’t need someone to be calling me every day and all hours of the day. If I don’t call in a few days, try calling me but if I don’t call in a week after talking with you,  I am not interested.

He says: ‘’I don’t want anything for Christmas, I don’t expect you to get me anything’’.

What he’s really saying. ‘’I don’t want to disappoint you, but I a testing to see what your taste is like in gifts. However I do want something though. So surprise me.

He says: ‘’Let’s go back to my place’’

What he’s really saying: ‘’I want to spend some quiet time with you, without other people around.’’

He says: ‘’I don’t eat fast food’’

What he’s really saying: ‘’ I’d rather spend my money on good quality food, and treat you right’’.

He says: ‘’don’t worry about it’’.

What he really means: ‘’ Pay me back when you can, I’m really not all that worried about it. I am here for you’’.

Now the ladies, what we say and what they think...

Woman: ‘’I love you’’

What he is thinking: ‘’ I’m scared she is going to hurt me, I’m not sure if I should say it back. Do I really feel the same way, and if I do how do I express myself toward her’’?

Men have a hard time expressing their inner emotions because they were raised to be al macho like as a child. They were taught to not be a wimp in school and to fight back, when pushed. When it comes to love ad relationships, he is unsure how to really respond, as he really needs to feel it first in order to give you the response you are looking for.

Woman: ‘’I want to be with you forever, you are my everything’’.

What he is thinking:  Same notion as above. He may have never experienced a woman to fall head over heels for him before, and this perhaps is new to him. He possibly is thinking. ‘Maybe this is it, maybe I finally found the one I want to be with, but I got to make sure that I love her first. But I don’t want to hurt her either’’.

Men want to take things slow, it does take a longer time for a man to fully come around. Though be careful some men are liable to be scared off.

Woman: ‘’ It just feels like you don’t want to spend as much time with me anymore’’.

What he is thinking: ‘’ Nothing has changed, but I wish you’d stop telling me this. Though I will make it up to you the best way that I can. I am not trying to avoid or ignore you, I have been extremely busy’’.

Men do NOT want to hear this kind of talk. It will push them away. They may have been busy and trying hard not to ignore you, but sometimes a lack of help from work, does cramp the relationship style.

Woman: "Are we fading away?’’

What he is thinking: ‘’I just need time for myself now and then. I am not choosing to ignore you, however, when I am distracted with work and other things in my life, I find it hard to concentrate on this relationship sometimes’’.

The stipulation is the same as above.  He may need to concentrate more on his goals instead of just one thing.

Woman: ‘’I have a fear of abandonment’’

What he is thinking: ‘’ I cannot promise you eternal love, as nothing lasts forever. I will do my best to not hurt you. Though I will test you, to see how independent you really are, if I don’t call you for a few days. I want to see how you react. Though this phase will not last, it’s just a run test’’.

Men are not willing to hurt a woman in a relationship, though they are willing to test you and push your buttons, just enough to see if you’re willing to be apart for a few days. He will probably only do this a few times, in order to find out what you’re really like when there is low communication. Especially if he goes away on business trips, where he may not be able to communicate as much with you.

Woman: ‘’ You are everything I have ever dreamed of’’

What he is thinking: ‘’I try my best, to make you happy. I want to make you feel this way because you are special.’’

A man may not show how he really feels when you say this to him, but really he is gloating. Don’t boost his ego up too much his head might pop  ;-)

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I have to say, in my experience, 'Let's go back to my place' isn't just to spend some 'quiet time' together without other people. It's the full on, let's have sex. And 'it's not you it's me' is used by both men and women to mean 'it's not me, it's you. I'm just not that interested.'

It's a nice article though, cute.

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