Your mind will be muddled after a relationship suddenly ends because you’ll be wondering what you did, what you could have done better and you’ll want to prove to your ex that you know he/she’s right. You’ll have these reactions because, instinctively, you want to feel better. Just like when you burn your hand on the stovetop you cradle your hurt appendage. When your heart is broken, you’re going to want to reach out to the soothing comfort your now ex had always provided before. However, when your mind is overpowered by your instincts, you can make some irreversible mistakes that will ruin your chances of getting your ex back.
1. Being clingy
Your primary reaction is going to want to “cling” to your ex. As mentioned, he/she is your band-aid that gives you comfort. When you’re as hurt as you can get after a breakup, your mind is wild with the shooting pain from your heart and can only think of one person to mend. However, being clingy is detrimental to the health of your relationship. The nurturing you need should come from friends and family. Stay away from clinging to your ex because it makes you look bad and desperate.
2. Continuously texting and calling
Another reaction that is related to the first but different enough to earn its own mention is to continuously call, text, IM or email your ex. No matter what you have to explain in whichever method of communication you choose, there is a better way to go about dealing with your feelings. Again, trying to keep in contact with your ex is clingy and desperate and should most certainly be avoided. After you’ve had some time to cool down and take your breakup in perspective, a text or email might be okay. However, you have to do this cautiously and sparingly and always wait for a response.
When you try to call, you’re usually not top notch and completely ready to be talking to your ex. More often than not you’re just going to make a spectacle of yourself that you’ll regret later down the road.
Each of these reactions to a breakup are natural, however, just as nature can prove to be devastating, so can your instinct. If you’ve already made these mistakes, it’s okay. Start over with a new resolve to not be clingy or contact your ex before he/she is ready. If you haven’t made these mistakes, that’s great. Keep up the good work and look forward to the future with hope that, someday, your relationship with your ex will right itself.
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