You’ve called her and left messages saying that you’re sorry. You tell her you’ve changed, asking her for a second chance but nothing seems to work to get her to pick up the phone and dial your number.
The trick is making the phone call about your ex, not about you. Two factors weigh in on the chances of your ex calling you back. First, what does she get out of it? Two, why should she call you back?
The first question relates to self-interest (something we all have). She wants to know what she gains from calling you back. Is she just going to get another apology? Another excuse? Another lie?
The second question relates to curiosity. Why should she call back? She’ll want to satiate her curiosity. You’ve said something that intrigues her and she wants to know why you’ve said that. She’ll call back. Especially if the answer to the why fits under the category of what she gets out of the call.
But what are the right words to ease the phone to her ear and call you back? Perhaps something like this:
“Hey Stacey, this is Zach. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did. You really helped me. I’d like to thank you in person, so if you give me a call back, that would be great”.
Don’t just call and say this because you just want a call back; you need to mean it. Have a reason to be thankful for what your ex-girlfriend did for you. Perhaps she helped you see something you wouldn’t have seen if you’d stayed together. Perhaps you had a growing experience and you understand her reasons for needing to break off the relationship. She’s going to want to know this for two reasons: it makes her feel appreciated (satisfies the self-interest factor) and she’s going to want to know what she may have done to make you be appreciative of her after you guys are no longer an item (curiosity).
While this shows you’re a sensitive guy and care about your ex, don’t make the call and expect her to call you back until you’re completely ready and honest about what you have to say.
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