Often when people say the words “Let's just be friends” what they are really doing is pushing the other person away to avoid getting hurt. They may think it is easier to keep the relationship casual than to risk a broken heart. Those words are like a wall they put up to defend their feelings. So how do you break through this defense?
First you must determine if this was the reason for the break up. Sometimes when a person says” Let’s be friends” they are searching for an easy way to get out of the relationship with very little hassle. In that case, your best bet is to walk away. If your ex is unwilling to be emotionally honest during the break up then chances are they wouldn’t be honest if you got back together.
However, if you believe that your ex is simply pushing you away to avoid being hurt then, with time and patience; you may be able to wear through this defense. When dealing with someone who finds it hard to trust you must assure him or her that your feelings are real and that you are not going to go away. Don't push them too hard or you may scare them away. Make the time you do spend together pleasant without pressing for more out of the relationship. Eventually your ex may come to realize that they can trust you not to hurt them and be willing to try a commuted relationship again.
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