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How to Avoid Going Too Far With Communication When You Want Your Ex Back

If you’ve already made these mistakes you can start over your chance of getting your ex back by stopping now. If you haven’t, be careful that you don’t start.
Views: 882 Created 08/23/2009

“I’m sorry, I just…Can’t we work this out?  Please call me. Please keep in touch.  I need to hear from you.”  Is this a message that sounds (or looks) familiar to you?  Is it a message you’ve sent to your ex after he/she broke up with you?  If not, you’re on the right track.  If so, you have fallen victim to the term “text message terrorism.”

Certainly the last thing you want to do after a break up is drive your ex even further from you—especially if you want to get your ex back.  By constantly sending text messages, emails, letters, IMs or making short frequent phone calls and leaving desperate voicemails or comments on your ex’s blog or even coincidentally showing up where your ex is you are participating in TMT.  Not only have you become slightly creepy, you’ve also managed to annoy your ex to the point of wanting to stay away from you and possibly never seeing you again.

If you’ve already made these mistakes you can start over your chance of getting your ex back by stopping now.  If you haven’t, be careful that you don’t start.  Any one of these mistakes can happen during a moment of weakness, so be aware when you’re tempted.  Be sure you can handle setting the phone down or hitting delete.

Doing any one or more of the mentioned “crimes” is disastrous for your relationship because it means you haven’t given yourself the time to heal.  When a breakup occurs, it’s usually best for the person who did the breaking up to maintain contact because he/she will know when he/she is ready to discuss anything and if there’s a chance to get back with him/her.  Sometimes this may take a long time, but it’s best for you to not initiate contact when you’re feeling so hurt.

Give both of you some time to get over the pain.  After about a month of no contact—that means having conquered your need to text or message your ex—you have a right to get back in touch with your ex.  If he/she wants to move on, accept that, but if you can prove to him/her that you’ve changed a bit and that you’re mature enough to handle an emotional turbulence, which is likely to impress your ex.

Good luck on your trek and remember you have friends and family to help you through your tough time.  They’ll be more than willing to guard your phone for you when you’re feeling most vulnerable to your desire of texting. More tips here: http://www.themagicofmakingup.com

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