There are lots of ways for guys to be friends with girls, but two of them are directly connected with serious relationships. When you first meet a girl who seems special, there’s no way you’re going to make an immediate leap into a fully-fledged relationship. You were strangers before you met. Now you’re friends. What you hope is that you can go beyond that. It’s a very positive and welcome kind of friendship.
But the other kind is very frustrating indeed. It’s the kind that hits you in the face when you’re trying to rebuild a damaged relationship only to hear those words, “I just want to be friends”. It’s like a physical blow and it leaves all your hopes crushed and broken.
So why is she doing this? And what can you do about it?
Well, her reasons are probably simpler than you imagine. Your relationship somehow hit the rocks and she feels hurt by that. She still has feelings for you but she doesn’t want to be hurt again. So, driven by caution more than anything, she decided that “friendship” is the best way to keep herself emotionally protected but also to keep you in her life.
You should be encouraged by the fact that she cares enough to want this because it could be the first sign that she might want more. You’re not out of the woods yet. It’s going to take her some time to feel confident enough to give your relationship another go. In the mean time you’ll have to carry on putting up with the frustration of making moves towards her, which you think she’s inviting, only to be rebuffed. What you need to do is take the time to remind her what she saw in you; the qualities that make her want you in her life. But take it slow and gentle – she won’t want to feel as if you’re manipulating her. But take heart from the fact that she doesn’t want to let you go – it’s gives you a real way back.
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