There are few experiences in life more likely to leave you disoriented and shocked than an unexpected breakup. As far as you knew your life, as part of a loving couple, was settled and assured. Suddenly you find yourself single again without any chance to plan or prepare. You’ll probably feel that the most pressing thing for you to do is to set your relationship right back on its feet again. I think what I’ve got to say can help. Even if you just want to manage the pain and get on with your new life, you might still find it useful.
First, don’t fixate on keeping in touch with your ex. It’s unlikely to help at this point and it will probably cause harm. It’s a difficult time when you’re both prone to doing and saying things without thinking through the consequences. It’s far better to back off and give both of you the space to reflect and reconsider. That way the wounds can start to heal.
Second, remember that he wasn’t the only good thing in your life. While you’ve been with him, you’ve probably seen less of your family and friends than before. Well, now is the time to put that right and discover what a tremendous support they can be. Remember, they care about you so at a time like this lean on them and let them help you through this rough patch.
Finally, be prepared. You see, one of the consequences of breaking off contact could well be to force him to face his responsibility in all of this and to realize just how much he’s lost. He might well feel that he simply can’t imagine life without you in it, now that he’s had a taste of what it would be like. So if he gets in touch with you, make sure you’ve worked out how to proceed.
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