Men often think that trying new sex positions can put back the passion and excitement that all relationships lose over time. And youknow what? To some extent, that's actually true, because both men and women are sexually stimulated by novelty and new ideas - and, of course, new sex positions offer different sensations and feelings.
But while your sexual fires may burn brightly again if you try some of the more exotic sex positions you can find on the internet (often with graphic names like "Joystick Joyride" or "Hot Hula"), there's something pretty important to take into account before you start your bedroom acrobatics - just how do these sex positions fit with your desires and personality?
Let me explain with two simple examples. Some women find the rear entry (or doggy style) position a bit demeaning, because it makes them feel like a sex object. But other women love it because it gives them the chance to show off their wild sexual natures with total abandon. Clearly, it isn't right for everyone!
And while some couples adore the familiar missionary or man on top position for lovemaking, reveling in the deep penetration and close, intimate bodily contact it offers, others find it tedious, boring and even a symbol of male dominance over women.
So how do you know what to do when you're in bed with a partner, especially if things are getting a bit, well, boring?
You can always start by finding ways to increase the level of intimacy between the two of you. The best way to do that is to engage in good communication about what you need and want from your sex life. This will increase the sense of closeness you feel; and talking about your experiences in bed will give you both a better understanding of what you both want from sex.
Typical expectations might be: physical excitement, physical closeness, novelty, experimentation, a feeling of safety, positions which make the woman feel secure, or those which give the man a chance to feel more of his male power, a woman's need for prolonged foreplay, and the man's need for a "quickie" occasionally.
The more advanced sex positions (not that making love is a graded test!) depend on you and your partner being flexible, energetic, and adventurous. They also depend on you having an uninhibited streak to show off.....
So, by now you might be wondering if there's an easy way to choose your sex positions, particularly if you're not especially interested in trying out page after page of improbable positions taken from some website or other.
Happily, the answer is "yes". The experts at Sex Techniques and Positions have put together a comprehensive guide to sex positions which gives you an individualized "sex profile" - showing which sex positions might be best for you. Remarkable though that seems, all you have to do is answer 20 simple questions about your preferences, then get a detailed profile as to what might be the best way to enjoy yourself in bed. As far as we know, this idea is unique on the internet. Whether you take it seriously or not, it offers a lot of fun for all couples, both those who have been together a while, and those who are new to sex as a couple. You can see the details of this website below.
Remember though, sex should be good fun and not some kind of acrobatic performance. From time to time we all enjoy new and unexpected positions, but very often getting turned on isn't just about playing a game of twister in bed, but about some other big or small change in your sex life. It's difficult for many people to acknowledge and express the things which arouse them: however, having a talk with your sexual partner about these things gives you a better chance of creating a sexy and passionate long-term, monogamous relationship, one which leaves you fulfilled rather than lusting after something (or someone) else.
Now, having said all that, adventurous, new sexual positions will definitely affect how you make love. Some of them - especially variations of the rear entry positions - will make the man reach orgasm more quickly due to the more intense stimulation that the sexual posture offers; others will slow things down - this is especially true of side by side positions - so that you can go on making love for longer.
The only way you're actually going to discover what excites and pleases you is to try these positions out, since the physical pleasure you get depends on the size, shape and angle of a couple's penis and vagina, while the emotional pleasure and fulfillment comes much more from the way you feel towards your partner and whether or not the posture you're using fulfills your basic desires and personality traits. Many women, for example, like to feel slightly dominated during lovemaking, which is one of the reasons why the man on top position remains such a firm favorite.
A warning, though. The penis is very tough, and it can take a lot of physical stress during sex. But some of the more advanced sexual positions you'll see require a degree of penile flexibility that you may not have. Equally, the depth of the woman's vagina will have a bearing on which position feels most comfortable - positions which offer deeper penetration will not feel so good to her if her man is very well endowed, for example. If you bend your penis beyond its natural limits it can damage the internal tissues, which may produce Peyronie's disease. So, during any session of sex, but especially one where you are experimenting, I strongly suggest you stop whenever you feel any level of discomfort, physical or emotional, and find something that you enjoy more.
You may wish to find the best sex positions for you and give you better control (if you're a man, this may be important to you or your partner), greater physical pleasure, or a more intense connection with your partner. Or you may want to try some more unusual positions for sex. Your needs will depend on many things, including how adventurous you are: but no matter how adventurous you are, it's not hard to figure out what feels good when you're actually making love to your partner!
If you or your partner are more or less inhibited when it comes to sex, looking at tasteful pictures of lovemaking together can break down your inhibitions and help you develop much greater intimacy. And remember, the greatest sexual experiences come from the natural, wild, sensual part of your personality, so the more you can joke and laugh together when you get naked, the better. Also - trying a whole load of novel and new sex positions isn't necessarily the best route to greater intimacy and orgasmic pleasure: sometimes you just need to stick to what you know and love.
So feel free to experiment in response to your partner's requests, but also to say "no." You don't have to prove that you're a god or goddess of the bedroom, just enjoy being natural and seeking out what you want. Slow down the rhythm and pace of sex if you're trying something new. That way, you'll be able to see if either of you aren't comfortable with what's going on. And if what you're doing, or the position you're doing it in, doesn't hit the spot, just move around and find something that does.
With all of that in mind, you can really enjoy experimenting in the bedroom and keep your sex life fresh and - more importantly - rewarding. That way lies monogamy, faithfulness and an ever-deepening relationship.