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Bringing Back the Sparkle after Infidelity

You should not wait for some kind of magic wand to establish your relationship. There are a number of things you can do on your own in order to have a good relationship.
Views: 586 Created 11/26/2009

Infidelity is a damaging experience that will severely weaken a relationship. The relationship can easily come to a painful end. However, even in such a case, it is still possible to bring back the lost sparkle and make the relationship even stronger.

Treat the disease, not the symptom

Although many relationships end due to infidelity, the fact is that this is not the real problem. More often than not, infidelity is actually a symptom that points to a more serious problem that is hidden. This means that if you would like to restore a relationship after a case of cheating, you will need to look beyond this painful experience.

What could have been lacking?

In many cases, a partner will cheat when there is some kind of lack. However, this does not necessarily mean that the partner who has been cheated was doing some mistakes. What it means, however, is that there is some hidden problem in the relationship. You should therefore be aware of the appropriate measures you need to take in order restore such a relationship.

Take responsibility

This does not mean that the infidelity happened due to your fault. Instead, it means that you should take an active role in solving the hidden problem. Things won't correct themselves, and it may not be easy to change your partner, so you must take action.

Being in charge will also help you overcome your negative feelings. When you discover that you have been cheated on, you are likely to feel like a victim. Taking action will help in restoring your lost self esteem.

Avoid pointing accusing fingers

You will naturally feel like putting all the blame on the partner who has cheated, complete with its emotional consequences. It is true that this may make you feel better. However, it will hardly help in repairing your relationship. Be strong enough to move beyond the blame stage.

Don't crave after an apology

While it is in order for your partner to apologize, you should never the less avoid soliciting for it. You should instead focus on how to fix the problem, and the apology will come naturally.

Seek the root cause

As has been stated, infidelity is not really the problem but rather a symptom of the real issue. While you may overcome this painful experience and decide to move back together, the hidden problem will still cause friction.

You will both need to be very honest in order to achieve this. It is challenging since you will need to get rid of any emotions that may cloud your perceptions.

Rebuild your lost trust

This is not going to be easy, but it is necessary. You can not have a good relationship in the face of suspicion.

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