There are times in every man's sex life when he doesn't last as long in bed as he or his partner would like. In fact, most men last only a few minutes during intercourse before they reach orgasm, and this often leaves both partners feeling unfulfilled.
A short interval between penetration and ejaculation can deprive both partners of sexual satisfaction: most women like to feel their man inside them for as long as possible, as they savor the sensations of intercourse and enjoy the feeling of lovemaking. And most men would like to have maximum control, so they can actually choose when to release at climax.
And the great news is that there are some easy and simple techniques which will allow you to develop much control. To understand this, you have to appreciate that your ejaculation isn't something that "just happens". Right now, you may feel that you don't have as much control over its timing as you would like, but that's only because you've never learned the art of natural self-control.
The truth is: you can easily control when your ejaculation happens, and when you do, it will give you the freedom to make love for as long as you desire. That may seem hard to believe if you're struggling against the sheer force of your body's desire to ejaculate when you make love. Or maybe you've given up trying to control it, and you just surrender to the wonderful sensations of release. This may seem OK, but it means you miss out on much of the pleasure of intercourse. What's more, you may leave your partner disappointed that you can't give her the pleasure she desires.
Well, I'm here to tell you that you CAN learn to control your ejaculation and you CAN last as long as you want when you make love. I know this because I'm a sex therapist, and I've taught hundreds of men to enjoy long lasting sex over the years, using the very same techniques that are described on this website. More importantly, I raised my own game as a lover to the level where I absolutely know I will never ejaculate before I choose too.....and I know that's also possible for all men, everywhere - you included!
What's more, it's actually rather easy to control your ejaculation. True, it does require some commitment on your part. But then all worthwhile achievements need a bit of commitment! Please don't fall for the quick fixes which seem too good to be true! You know the old saying: "If it seems too good to be true....it usually is!" So let me save you some time and trouble by telling you from experience, both personally and professionally in my work with hundreds of men, some simple truths.
You won't learn to last longer in bed by using self-hypnosis (although you may find it relaxes you); you won't last longer with those mysterious herbal potions of unspecified origin you see advertised on the internet - and that includes the ones "recommended" by a doctor (though you may find your bank balance quite a bit lighter when you've paid for all the tablets they say you need); you definitely can't stop yourself ejaculating with techniques which involve contracting or clamping your PC muscles - in fact, this so-called delaying tactic is utterly hopeless; you shouldn't use anesthetic cream or lotion, or condoms coated with such things, to help you last longer, because they will simply take away the physical pleasure of lovemaking....and, by the way, they didn't make the slightest difference to me when I tried them. I still didn't have much self-control. I just couldn't feel a thing.
What's more, you won't delay your orgasm by thinking about something unrelated, unpleasant or boring. And why would you want to? The only way to really enjoy lovemaking is to be fully aware of what's happening AND in complete control of your ejaculation.
So, what does work? Well, the easiest and simplest ways of learning to last longer are the ones used by professional sex therapists. You can use a series of simple exercises which will train your body to last longer during sex. Sure, this means lovemaking is interrupted, but as teach your body to delay its ejaculatory response, and as you do so, you get more and more control over it - until you reach the point where you can actually choose when to release in climax. Yes, you get to choose!
With a certain amount of dedication and a little practice, you'll soon notice the length of time for which you can saty in control begins to grow longer and longer. You'll find that you can continue making love without feeling that impending moment when you know you're going to release uncontrollably. Instead, you'll find that you can choose when to go for your orgasm and ejaculation: at that point, if you increase the speed and force of your rhythm, you can rapidly bring yourself to a powerful and satisfying conclusion.
Imagine being able to make love for as long you want without losing control. Imagine being able to truly satisfy your partner every time you make love. And imagine how pleased and satisfied she'll be, enjoying orgasm after orgasm with you as her lover! And here's the best thing: it's easy to learn how to do this! Yes: it's easy to achieve a level of sexual performance that most men only dream about. All you need is your commitment to be a better lover, a promise to yourself to move into the top few percent of men who reach for the sky when they make love - and get there!
So, just by using some simple exercises which train your body to rediscover its natural capacity for sexual pleasure, you'll become the lover you always had the potential to be. You'll be supremely confident, you'll be sexually desirable, and, best of all, you'll be free of anxiety about reaching orgasm too soon. Even better, your new-found control can allow you and your partner to enjoy mutual simultaneous pleasure. If you've never had a simultaneous orgasm with your partner, let me tell you, without exaggeration: that alone is worth learning how to control your orgasm.
Rod Phillips writes for many websites on sexual and relationship issues, and has helped hundreds of clients last longer in bed and improve their lovemaking.