It is a fact that if a person truly wants to enjoy improvements in their life and in their marriage, they must make positive shifts in their way of thinking and operating.
But, before that can happen, they must become aware of what shifts they need to make. And sometimes, all a person needs is a few simple questions...questions that help them see themselves in a new and different way...and then they are able to make the shifts that produce MAJOR improvements in their life.
Knowing this, consider these questions in relation to you, your spouse, and your marriage:
- Whose efforts do I depend upon to get what I want?
- Do I need my spouse in order to get what I want?
- Is the satisfaction and fulfillment that I desire dependent upon my spouse?
- Is my physical, financial, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual well-being tied to my spouse?
- Do I believe my spouse is obligated to take care of me?
- Is it my belief that my spouse should come through for me when I want something...without any effort on my part?
- Do I blame my spouse for the results, conditions, and circumstances in my life?
- Do I require the support of others...which gives them license to control me?
- Who does my thinking for me?
10. Who drives my actions? Do I act of my own volition...or am I acted upon by others?
11. Who do I get my direction from?
12. Who do I expect to validate me?
13. Who is it that I primarily rely upon?
14. How cooperative with others am I?
15. How clear am I on what I want out of my marriage?
16. How clear am I on what my spouse wants out of our marriage?
17. How clear am I on what my spouse and I want together out of our marriage?
18. Do I consider my spouse's talents and abilities to be threats or allies?
19. Am I a person of integrity, power, strength, and courage?
20. Does my behavior indicate a belief that I must manipulate people into giving me what I want?
21. Does my mode of operation reveal a belief that I must use available "assets" as leverage...as weapons...to get what I want?
22. How much energy do I give to my spouses weaknesses, failures, and flaws?
Here's an eye-opening exercise you can try; on a piece of paper, write down the major frustrations you are experiencing in your marriage. Then, reference each frustration against these 22 questions.
What did you find out?
Copyright 2010, Article by Calle Zorro of HusbandWifeHelp.com
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