For the "undeveloped" married man...those who haven't yet learned how to turn their wife on sexually, their willingness to have sex is mostly based upon one factor:
Is my wife giving me any indication that she will she let me "have" her?
If the indications say "Yes", then the "undeveloped" husband starts hollering "Yee-Haw" in his mind and "in" he goes.
The problem is, there are very few wives around who value themselves so little that they'll stoop to the "undeveloped" man's low value of himself...and her...so the "undeveloped" man doesn't get very much sex.
Given his sexless state of affairs, the "undeveloped" husband quickly realizes that he's got to offer his wife something if he's ever going to "convince" her to have sex with him. So, in his simplistic, one-track-mind kind of way, he offers up his paycheck and "niceness" as "payment" for sex.
Now, offering up a paycheck and "niceness" works a little better than offering nothing...but not much better.
And that's where MILLIONS of frustrated, unhappy, husbands who are stuck in what is essentially a sexless marriage find themselves.
And, they are SO FRUSTRATED because in their mind, they have "paid" for the sex and therefore, they should get it. They "feel" like they've "paid" for the sex by:
1. Working a job and bringing home a paycheck.
2. Doing all sorts of tasks and chores around the house for their wife.
They keep offering up these "payments" for sex...they keep doing the same old thing in an effort to get sex...and they keep on feeling "ripped off" and "cheated" because their wife isn't giving them sex for their "payment".
Every day, literally, I encounter guys who have stayed STUCK in this model for YEARS...until their wife finally realizes, "This guy isn't EVER going to "get it" so I better go find myself another man before my ENTIRE life is wasted!"
The wife then moves towards some other man...at which point these guys FINALLY decide they need some help and they find me.
Here's a quote from a real man that serves as an example of what I'm talking about:
"Calle Zorro, my problem is that I clean and do almost everything around the house so she will appreciate me and it seems like the more I do the less I get...and I don't just mean sex. I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!! I'm always paying her complements and getting none in return. We haven't made love in three months and we used to do it three times a week. I ask her, "What's wrong? Am I doing something wrong?" She tells me it's not me it's her so I've been trying to be patient but I'm so frustrated because I see it all coming to an end...and that's the last thing I want. I love her so much and don't want to lose her. She tells me she loves me to but I can't believe the way she shows it. I could go on and on but I'm on egg shells here."
Do you feel how sorry this guy is feeling for himself? Do you see how cheated he appears to be? Do you hear how mistreated he sounds?
Now, back up and read that paragraph I quoted again...does this sound like a man that a woman could be sexually attracted to?
Well, I can tell you that any woman reading this man's quote would RUN from him because this quote reveals to a woman that this guy is breaking every cardinal rule of being a sexy, attractive, appealing man.
Stated differently, this man has the kind of mindset and behavior-set that THOROUGHLY turns a woman off...and he doesn't even know it.
There are at least a dozen things wrong that this man is doing but I'm only going to give two clues here. The first is...
1. When a woman hears a man ask the question, "What's wrong? Am I doing something wrong?" or say its cousin statement, "What is it that you want...just tell me what you want!" she IMMEDIATELY KNOWS that this man does not have the capacity to take her to the satisfying and intimate relationship that she craves.
So, she "shuts down" while she figures out how to EXTRICATE herself from the mess that she's in. And, to give herself "time" to figure it out, she gives her husband something like, "It's not you, it's me." because she knows she can push him away with a statement like that and there's nothing tangible for him to "grab hold" of. In other words, he can't argue with a statement like that.
Now, here's a second clue...
2. Picture in your mind a totally grotesque woman. Really picture her until you can feel the repulsion in your stomach. Add in a terrible smell that surrounds this woman...a smell that's so bad, you have to hold your breath. Make sure you've really got the full sense of a completely nasty woman who completely turns you off and repels you.
Now, imagine this woman doing all sorts of nice things for you. She's cleaning your house...she's doing your laundry...your dishes...and so on.
Not only is she doing all these nice things for you, but she also is offering to rub your back or your feet or to massage you...because she wants to have sex with you...
Do you want to have sex with her?
I mean...after all...she IS doing nice things for you...why wouldn't you want to have sex with her?
I'm pretty sure you got the point.
If you're doing things to try to "get" your wife to give you sex, then what you need to know is that while you're seeing yourself as a "great" husband because you are helping around the house, buying her presents, being affectionate, etc. and bringing home a paycheck, your wife is actually seeing you in the same light as you just saw the grotesque woman.
I hope you also get the point that it's time for you to DEVELOP yourself into the kind of man that IS appealing, attractive, and sexy to a woman...it's PAST TIME for you to become the kind of man that your wife DOES want to get affectionate and sexual with.
Copyright 2010, Article by Calle Zorro of DoThisGetSex.com
Have a non-sexual wife ? Want to get more sex at home? If there is a lack of affection, lack of intimacy, and lack of sex in your marriage, go here: www.DoThisGetSex.com You'll be glad you did.