Some women have never really felt settled when they are in relationships. They always have deep feelings of insecurity because all they have known is how to chase love down.
If you are this kind of woman, you feel that you have to struggle. You often complain because you usually don't get what you want and never really feel complete.
You may have had tons of relationships or boyfriends but there is a pattern that lingers and you're often left wondering why you don't feel completely happy.
Maybe you've never really been vulnerable enough to share your deep feelings that your relationships never really feel that they are ok. This is because you don't really feel secure in your relationships even when it appears that you're having tons of fun.
This monkey on the back feeling is far from over if you don't know how to fix it. You may have thought that once you got into a relationship that you'd feel fine only to realize that you end up with the short end of the stick.
Patterns don't lie. It's no use resenting other people who've developed good patterns in their relationships. If you are secretly afraid that you're not getting what you want and your boyfriend isn't responding the way you want, I've got good news and bad news.
Let's start with the bad news. If you've developed a pattern of failure in your relationships or it just being good enough, you will not be successful if you don't look at changing your inner game.
The good news is, you don't have to continue with feelings of exasperation. It's useless always feeling powerless that you can't get him to change. Because change is possible. You may have followed some "rules" in the past that got you some things BUT didn't get you everything you want.
Your boyfriend will never give you what you want until you learn the secret to making him give you want you want.
Next Valentine's Day, you'll probably sit in total disappointment again because you were expecting him to pop the question. Remember what happened last year. You may have wanted him to go with you on a trip or have a special romantic evening because you were looking forward to him taking the relationship further. But you're still in a stalling pattern.
The thing is, you're doing everything on the outside to make him commit to you. You don't realize that you need an inner shift and that when you have this inner shift, he will also shift in the direction you are going. You are used to being ruled by externals so you look for what he's doing then you respond from that position. You are used to reacting to him instead of "acting" - you don't know how to rule yourself from the inside.
You can claim that you've tried everything and it doesn't work but you are not being the kind of leader who will inspire him IF you complain that what you've tried doesn't work. Sadly, there are many guys who leave one relationship only to go on quickly to another relationship and the new woman can get the guy to do virtually anything. This is because she knows something the old girlfriend doesn't know.
The new girlfriend knows how to get what she wants and you can learn how to finally succeed if you are woman enough to want to change.
Nicole Gayle is a Dating Success Coach who has been featured on her local television station City TV. She is the creator of the popular program Girlfriend to Wife in 100 days. Get Him to Marry You in 100 Days! Melt His Resistance Away. Get the free report on men and commitment. Go to: http://www.howtogofromgirlfriendtowife.com