If you find out that your husband has been having an affair, it can seem almost impossible to forgive him for his great betrayal. Putting your husband's cheating ways behind is indeed possible, but it is not going to be easy. His cheating will affect you personally to the core, and this will hurt you deeply. In addition, you will find it very difficult to trust him once more.
If you have decided that you want to keep his cheating ways behind, then you must be prepared to work hard, as it will not be a piece of cake. However, this is actually the route that will make you earn great rewards when you manage to establish an even stronger relationship than you had before. But you will only be able to do this if you know the right strategies to use.
How can you go on after such a betrayal?
Both of you will need to work on the matter as a couple. Each of you must be determined to keep his cheating ways behind so that you can look and move ahead. Facing the future together without dwelling on the painful experience will be challenging. You will find it very tempting to remind him of his betrayal whenever you do not agree on certain issues.
If you do this, you will keep living in the past. You will need to move forward without thinking about the betrayal. This, however, does not mean that you need to forget all about the issue.
Why forgiving and forgetting are not the same
You should learn to forgive your husband so that you can move on. However, if you forget all about it, complacency is likely to set in. This will then make it quite tempting to fall back into the trap of cheating. Keeping this affair in mind will help both of you to avoid cheating in different ways. For one, you will be able to avoid things that may have led down the painful path. Your husband is not likely to have just decided to enjoy cheating. There must have been something wrong. If you forget the affair, you may as well forget what led to it in the first place.
You should understand that remembering the event does not mean that you keep reminding him about it, or focusing on the pain. What it means is that you should remember what created a fertile ground for its propagation.
The pain is just too much – how can you move on?
Anyone who tells you that you will glide smoothly over your husband's affair is not telling you the truth. You must be prepared to pass through great pain, which at times may appear to overwhelm you.
When the pain threatens to destroy your life, remind yourself of the great benefits you are looking forward to. Think of the great moments you have shared together, and keep working towards having even better moments.
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