If your marriage is on the brink of divorce, you will probably find that everyone has advice for you to save marriage from divorce. Most of them mean well but for the most part, they have no idea what they are talking about. Here are four tips that can save your marriage:
Write It Out
People often underestimate the power of the written word. Writing makes your words permanent. Making a list of your grievances gives your spouse something concrete that they can refer to again and again. Be careful, however, the things that you write down can hang around for a very long time. Make sure that you take the time to write exactly what you mean. Do it when you are calm and can really think through what you want to say without excess emotion. Plus, you may find that writing about what makes you angry gives you a chance to blow off a bit of steam. This means you can be calmer when it comes to actually discussing the issues you have written down.
Often times when people are arguing, the things that need to be said get lost in the shouting match that ensues. If you lower your voice and speak softly, no matter how angry your spouse is, they will be forced to stop screaming so they can hear what you are saying. Once both of you are talking in at a normal voice, you have a better chance of being able to discuss the issue at hand.
Remember the Love
If every time you and your spouse are in the same room and an argument ensue, you may really start to wonder why the two of you ever got together. Take the time to remember what made the two of you fall in love in the first place. Try to make a point of telling your spouse one of the things that you love about them every day and encourage them to do the same. After a short while, you may find that the fighting has given way to remembrances of love.
Sometimes when you are in the middle of an argument, you only hear what you think your partner is saying. This leads to more arguments and misunderstandings. Take a deep breath and really listen to what they are saying. You may be surprised to find that your preconceived notions were wrong. You may also find out that your spouse hasn't really been listening to you either. The two of you may discover that you really are on the same side.
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