Have you ever received the “I need to be single” speech? It’s usually some lame speech about how he’s still young and still very much enjoys the single life, blah, blah, blah. Don’t scream yet, here are a few tips to avoid the conversation in the future.
You may be sophisticated and well educated but your relationships haven’t turned out to be as successful. The sad reality is you may be influencing his opinion of the relationship and not realize you’re slowly killing your future together.
It felt like you were both madly in love and then out of the blue, he decides he wants to be single again. Your first thought is he doesn’t have a clue about what he wants. The reality is he changed his mind about wanting the relationship. Men change their minds, just as women do. He may have wanted the relationship in the beginning but subtle words or gestures have changed his mind. He’s not fickle; he simply changed his mind.
Bringing past baggage into a new relationship will make a man change his mind about being with you. You feel like you have learned from your past but unconsciously you’re reflecting your past opinions on your new relationship. Don’t assume you can’t trust him because you couldn’t trust your last boyfriend. Trust is earned and taken away on an individual basis. Give your man the benefit of the doubt until he proves to you otherwise. Your negative opinion of trust is reflective in your attitude and conversation. Be careful of judging him prematurely.
Treating your man like one of your daily chores can change his mind about being in relationship with you. If you structure your day down to the minute, you may be missing out on the fun of spontaneity. Structure in your workplace makes everything run smoother. Structure in your personal life makes everything predictable. Eventually you will become bored with your personal life and quite possibly with him as well. Don’t approach your personal life in the same manner as your professional life. Your personal life should be fun. It shouldn’t feel like a project that needs to be completed.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. You may feel like you are doing everything right but if you are bringing in baggage and prematurely judging him or treating him like an item on your “to-do list”, you could be destroying the relationship and not even know it. Completely let go of the past, judge him for his actions and keep the fun in your interactions. He will appreciate your confidence and faith in him and you will appreciate how your relationship has begun to grow.
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