You wondered what's actually wrong with yourself and what you can't make a guy commit to you. You best friend is getting married and you are very happy for her. You and the girls are discussing how perfect the couple is together. Everyone has something wonderful to say about them. Your smile shines bright outside, but on the inside, you are wondering, “Why can’t I have a real relationship?”
Women commit to a relationship whole-heartedly. Men never seem to share the intensity. From the day, you profess, “He’s my boyfriend”, and you are 100 percent committed to the relationship. He, on the other hand, may not consider you his girlfriend. He could be casually dating you and other women.
You, or someone you know, had a male friend that loved to date, and then met a fun interesting woman, whom he now intends to marry. Some men date for fun, others interview for a relationship. If you are “dating”, you can get an interview but it will take some effort on your part to get a committed relationship.
Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open and easy. Learn to hear him when he speaks. Listen to his thoughts and emotions and learn from his words. Don’t judge his opinions or he will become uncomfortable sharing them with you. Open your mind along with the communication. Become an intellectual resource for him. Stimulate his mind with your thoughts and opinions but don’t dominate the conversation. Let the communication be an equal exchange of ideas without judgment or criticism. He will come to value your thoughts. Once he feels this level of comfort, you will be able to talk to him about any and every subject imaginable, including commitment.
Mental stimulation is a rare quality that draws guys like magnets. It puts you a level above the other women that he dates. He will seek out your time, attention and opinion about the things most important to him. He will appreciate that you listen to him without judging or criticizing. It will create a bond between you that outlasts the other women.
Use your communication exchanges to your advantage. The more he tells you, the more you will know on how to make him smile. Retain that information and keep him smiling. Keep him interested in you in a manner no one else has been able to accomplish.
Once he’s developed a comfortable communication level with you, he will begin to divulge information to you that he has never told anyone else. That makes you special. Special women are marriage material.
When you are ready to get out of dating mode and move into interview mode, approach your guy in a manner that will stimulate him emotionally and intellectually. Save the sex for later. Once you are in his head, the rest will come.
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