How many times have you seen the most fabulous girl attached to the biggest loser imaginable? He treats her bad and she makes excuses for him. Usually Mr. Jerk is handsome and well spoken with masculine features and a pleasant demeanor. He is the type of guy every girl dreams of only to realize she is in a nightmare.
Usually Ms. He Didn’t Mean It is beautiful but she has no idea how incredibly fabulous she can truly become. Her self-esteem is down to nearly nothing. She understates her physique and her hair so that she doesn’t disrespect her boyfriend. She holds her head down because she is ashamed of him and even worse of herself. Her current boyfriend doesn’t hit her but her last boyfriend nearly killed her. What makes her go from one bad relationship to another? It’s the power of her loser magnet.
Some women attract the type of men they believe they can fix. You can’t fix a man; he needs to fix himself. If he has no respect for women, don’t believe you will be the first woman he will respect. If he has no social skills and embarrasses himself in public, don’t believe you can make him stop embarrassing you in public. Telling him repeatedly that he has problems doesn’t remind him to fix the problem. It reminds him that you are a nag and you want him to fix something he doesn’t think is a problem. If he doesn’t think there is a problem, no matter how many times you tell him, he won’t consider it a problem. You will become his problem.
Other women attract men they feel they can love into goodness. Don’t take a broken man to patch and kiss all his broken parts. You are not healing the man; instead you are covering his character flaws. You dive into fix-him mode and make excuses for his other character flaws. You are encouraging a relationship that is made up of broken pieces. He chooses not to see his flaws and you pretend you don’t see them. Eventually that relationship will come crashing down and you will be left picking up broken pieces.
The next time your friend asks you why she always attracts the same type of man. Don’t be afraid to tell her the truth. Tell her to stop trying to fix the men in her relationships and stop cultivating bad unions. Tell her to turn her focus to a man that appreciates her for the joy she brings, not one that needs her for the remedies in her fix-it-all bag. Once she believes she is better than her relationships of the past, her magnet will begin to lose its power.
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