It amazes me, how often during a week, I hear "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility".
It seems that in today's society no one wants to take responsibility for anything. Parents don't or won't take the responsibility of how their children turn out. It's the daycare's fault, the school's fault, the college's fault, the cop's fault, ... you get the picture. As far as children go today, newsflash parents, "It is your fault." They are your children, not the daycare's or the schools. It is your responsibility to be sure that they get to school, that they learn in school, and what they do after school. That means paying attention to what your children are doing. Taking an interest in the homework they have, and if they don't have any, giving them some. Monitoring what kind of music they listen to, what they watch on television, what kind of movies they watch, and the video games they play. Teaching them the difference between reality and imaginary ideas, people and things. Television and video games are not baby-sitters, and neither is the school system. Your children are your responsibility, and in all honesty if you don't have the time to spend with your children, then don't have them. I fully realize that both parents have to work today because of the cost of things. However, there are parents raising children who are aware of what their children are doing, spend time with them, and instill in them ethics, morals and values so that their children can become productive adults. Unfortunately, these parents appear to be few and far between.
Teachers, your job is to teach our children. The crying about class size doesn't cut it. When I attended school we had a minimum of 30 students in most classes, and teachers taught and we all passed our Regents exams before graduating high school. Unfortunately, while I was in college I could see the writing on the wall already regarding our education system. Those who were going into teaching only had to pass/fail classes such as psychology, sociology, and learning theory classes; and they couldn't even do that. Our education system has gone downhill since the mid 70's. Yes, there are still some good teachers out there, those in their 40's and up. However, we have teachers today that can't read and write, so how can we expect them to teach our children to do so. Some of the teachers today are afraid of being tested on a yearly basis, and many of them should be, because they would not pass. The standards for testing today are a joke. I would love to give a Regents Exam test from a high school in the 50's, 60's, and even early 70's. Both the students and the teachers today wouldn't pass.
I know I am making a lot of people angry, and you should be. The fault lies with our educational system. It has disintegrated over the years. Too many other factors have come into play in our school system. This is something that should not have happened. In order to get good teachers, children and parents have to respect them, and unfortunately today that is not the case. When I was attending school, we respected our teachers and our principals. Suspension was a punishment and an embarrassment, both to ourselves and our parents. Teachers were allowed to reprimand students. They didn't have to worry about student rights, students self esteem, etc. When we start respecting our teachers again, let them teach and not worry about being politically correct, and pay them a salary they can live on we will get the better educated to teach our children. In addition, parents look at teachers as their baby-sitters, and expect them not only to educate their child but to help raise them. Parents you have a responsibility to your child and to the teacher. You have to respect the teacher and support them, not fight them.
So many of the problems today both with parenting and teaching is the way society and government put handcuffs on both. Parents can't even hit their children today without the threat of being a child abuser and being carted off the jail, court or worse. Discipline is not abuse, and I believe that discipline is sorely needed. I am not advocating child abuse, however, you cannot reason with a 2 year old sticking their finger in a wall socket. A firm no, with a slight slap of the hand works wonders. I am amazed at what children get away with today. However, they get away with these things, because parents let them. Over the years we've let government, vocal parental groups, legislators and the legal system dictate how we raise our children. Why? Because then we can use the mantra, "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility".
People today are to quick to abdicate responsibility to everyone but themselves. One of the biggest problems are all the frivolous lawsuits out there. Children taking their parents to court. Parents suing companies because of hot coffee, a hot pickle. These cases get too much attention and unbelievably juries that give out awards.
The media perpetuates many of the problems today. By focusing so much attention on the people that do harm to others, more individuals out there figure if they want attention they need to do the same. This becomes a vicious cycle, and teaches our children the wrong way to accomplish things.
So, how do we fix it. We all take responsibility for our actions. We don't abdicate our responsibility. We admit we are human, we make mistakes, and move forward from there. Try and I mean really try not to make the same mistakes over and over. But most important of all, take the responsibility for your own screw ups and don't put the blame on anyone else.
Copyright DeFiore Enterprises 2001
Short note about the author
Sue and Chuck DeFiore
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