Login or e-mail Password   

12 Goofy Ways to Stay Safe and Healthy in Today's Hazardous World

Example: Do not store feminine hygiene products in a microwave oven.
Views: 5.240 Created 12/02/2006

1. Stop breathing ozone immediately. You know you can if you try.

2. Do not strike matches near an open nuclear power plant.

3. Do not rub either your scalp or your bosom with the latest scientific breakthrough.

4. Never sit next to strangers in movie theaters, churches, or hot tubs.

5. Never ride with a teenager wearing a Dukes of Hazzard T-shirt.

6. Do not store feminine hygiene products in a microwave oven.

7. Avoid harmful fats - particularly those name Gloria.

8. Never go swimming immediately after eating a day-old tuna and mayo sandwich.

9. Avoid death-defying rides at amusement parks - especially those that have carried 10 million people without an accident.

10. Avoid wearing tight designer jeans, since the dye used in some designer labels, when sat on by laboratory rats, caused dishpan tail.

11. Avoid medical care by licensed physicians. Even if the treatment causes no harmful side-effects, the bill can prove fatal.

12. Be satisfied with what you have. Stay away from pyramid parties, gurus, Nigerian email offers, and marriage counselors.

Follow the wise though goofy suggestions above and you will have an excellent chance at survival. But just in case, always wear clean underwear.


Short note about the author

Joe Hickman, a veteran writer for comedians and public speakers, is editor of HaLife.com

Similar articles

comments: 4 | views: 5166
comments: 1 | views: 8440
comments: 2 | views: 6226
comments: 0 | views: 6288
comments: 7 | views: 5091
Added by: cindy

Related topics

No messages

Add your opinion
You must be logged in to write a comment. If you're not a registered member, please register. It takes only few seconds, and you get an access to additional functions .

Users online: 212
Registered: 107.588
Comments: 1.501
Articles: 7.251
© 2005-2018 EIOBA group.