There are some people that don't like to be alone. I on the other hand love being alone. You see I'm a thinker. I think all the time. And I talk to myself a lot. I always have stuff going on in my head. I'm thinking about stuff.
So me and me like each other. Nobody's inside my head pissing me off. Nobody's in there to argue with me. And I'm thinking. Which I love to do. I'm writing and I'm thinking.
There is no one else I'd rather be with than me. And I laugh a lot at me. I mean I am freaking hysterical. I am such a goof ball and have such a blast laughing at myself.
Here's my conversation with my husband.
"Did you ever think you would have this much fun this many years later?"
"Nope."
"Did you ever think you'd still be laughing this much?"
"Nope."
"Who's funnier, me or you?"
"When?"
He's a constant source of entertainment. Funnier. More humorous. I make stuff up. I'm the creative one. He's the pragmatic one. In some cases.
Truth is, I'm just nuts. On some days. Generally, I just like to entertain myself with myself. I have a bizarre perspective on life. I'd must rather laugh than take it all too seriously.
None of it is that serious anyway. One of my sons told me his friend said to him,
"I didn't know you were really smart."
"Why"
"Because you laugh."
It's best to be underestimated. I always told my sons its best to not peak too early in life. Remember the kids that were the Homecoming kings and queens in high school? Where are they now?
I haven't peaked yet. I remember a guy telling me when I was about 37 years old, that you get to be successful once in your life. He was about 52. I'm turning 50 in a few months. I looked at him and thought, shit, he's screwed.
Then I remember years ago living in the first house my husband and I bought. Our neighbor said to us,
"Watch out for the kids from town. They will come up here on the hill and trick or treat because they like to get candy from us....you know the rich people."
I thought to myself what a b****h. Then I thought, shit if this is rich, I'm f*****d. It had nothing to do with the house we were living in, it had to do with where I was in my life....what chapter I was in and the goals I had established. I guarantee you I wasn't living in a place yet where I considered myself rich. I had so much more to accomplish. Everything is relative. But I haven't peaked yet. It's why I'm busy thinking and why I like being alone. There's no one there to argue with me and tell me I've peaked.
I also can't think when there's all kinds of people around me. I hear their noise. And it gets in my way. Their noise interferes with my thinking. And I want to yell at them and say,
"WILL YOU SHUT UP! I CAN'T THINK."
So, I disengage...and go home and think. Because it's the only place where sanity exists for me. I have clarity. Because me and me like each other. And we think alike. We're generous with our thoughts.
And besides we're both nuts.