My youngest son is going to kill me. He refuses to eat. My husband always tells him he's going to grow up to be a stop sign......because he doesn't eat and his ears are so big. Patrick laughs hysterically.
Patrick got my husband's ears. My husband is Dumbo......trust me. My husband grew into his ears when he was 30. Now he hides them with his hair. Poor Patrick can't.
Recently Patrick needed to get his hair cut and wanted to get a buzz. I said no way. The social services would come to my house and swear I was starving him. At least he looks like he has a little bit of weight on him with his hair on his head. There's not much on his body so the hair camouflages his emaciation.
So we're sitting at dinner and Patrick as usual isn't eating. It's always a challenge to get him to eat anything. Dinner time our house:
"PLEASE PATRICK STOP TALKING AND EAT." my husband.
Just in case your thinking about it....my son, Patrick, has a heart and lung condition.....along with ADHD......so before thinking about sharing with me your wisdom you may find a hand reach through your computer and I'll suddenly pop out and beat the shit out of you.
"Mom, can I go on a date?" he says to me as I walk into the kitchen from a conference call I just wrapped up.
I looked at my husband and looked back at Patrick. I'm not sure if this is a joke or not. Everybody knows the 3 date rule, but he's only 13 years old. What the freak was going on?
I sat down to dinner and looked at this kid across from me. I tilt my head a little differently to see if there's something I missed. He has special needs. He's not a normal 13 year old boy. He's more like an eight year old from a maturity perspective. His speech is delayed, etc, And I'm thinking to myself, you must be freaking joking. Where on God's green earth did you get that idea? You know, the whole dating idea.
So, I refrain from saying anything because I'm keenly concerned about his self-esteem due to his special needs. But my thoughts are running a little haywire.....LIKE ARE YOU CRAZY!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT...NO HOW HOW WAY ........NEVER......NOT TILL YOU ABOUT 20........BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO FAR BEHIND.
But, I'm still looking at him...........and waiting for the pearls of wisdom to come forth from my minuscule little brain. And I can't stall. I'm on the spot. So, I come up with GREAT COME BACK....
"Honey, where did you get the idea about dating?"
"From Quinn."
"Oh? And who is Quinn?"
He smiles at me.
"She's my friend."
"Oh?"
"I want to take her to the movies."
"Really?"
"Patrick, what are rules of the house?"
"Well Zaire is going on a date."
"That is wonderful honey. I am very happy for Zaire."
"I want to go on a date."
"Patrick, what are the rules of the house.""
(Truth is I'm still stalling, because he's not like my other sons...and I'm trying to figure this all out in my head....at the same time...I have to be consistent.....and I'm also having a freaking heart attack....is he nuts????)
"I don't know Mom."
"OK honey, let me share with you what rules Mike and DJ had. Because you have to live by the same rules. Just like they weren't allowed to watch TV during the week, you aren't allowed to watch TV during the week, right? Here are the rules of dating. You aren't allowed to date until you are 16 years old. And then, you can date anyone you would like 3 times. However, you are allowed to go to the movies with your friend Quinn and I will take you to the movies. OK?"
He looks at me and smiles
"Are you going to be sitting in the movie with us?"
I walk back into my office after dinner and want to pull my eyes out of my sockets....he's going to give me a heart attack or kill me shortly and I'm never going to get to live to see him turn 16. That's my greatest fear.